You know what’s the scariest thing about prostate cancer?
No, it’s not when your urologist suggests a biopsy, and you instantly realize how “the big B” is logically followed by “the big C.” Not the medical “choose-your-own-adventure game” where your urologist and oncologist pitch competing treatment strategies: “Surgery is your best bet!” “But have you considered radiotherapy?” “Why not both?” (Spoiler: I got the combo deal.)
Not the hormone therapy that turns you into a walking chemistry experiment, complete with hot flashes that make menopausal women nod in sympathy. Not the new diet that has you googling “can I still eat cheese?” at 3 AM.
Not the medical scavenger hunt through your body – CT scans, MRIs, and that special bone scan with a radioactive treasure hunt where they inject you with something glowy and make you pace hospital corridors for an hour like a confused firefly before the photoshoot. I now have a collected photo album of my insides that beats any collection of selfies… ever.
Not the battery of tests that make you feel like a human pin cushion. Not even the radiotherapy sessions where you have to master the art of timing your water intake just right – try keeping a full bladder while anxiously watching the clock in the waiting room! (Pro tip: crossing your legs really tight does help.)
Not the surgery that had me comparing hospital gown designs. Not the countless radiotherapy sessions that turned me into a reluctant regular at the hospital café, doing the “I really need to pee but I can’t” dance while waiting for my turn at the machine.
A Symphony of Treatment
Want to know what modern cancer treatment actually sounds like? We’ve all heard MRIs and CT scans on TV shows, but this was new territory. I recorded my radiotherapy sessions with binaural mics, capturing a soundscape that sits somewhere between a sci-fi movie soundtrack and an experimental electronic music piece (I should know).
The whirs, clicks, and high-pitched drones that initially seem alien become less scary over time. They transform into a familiar tune – a sort of “whistle while you work” symphony as the machine zaps away at those unwanted C cells… Who knew cancer treatment could have its own soundtrack?
The truly terrifying part? Finding out that all of this drama could have been avoided with a simple blood test that takes less time than ordering a coffee.
Plot twist: I only discovered my advanced prostate cancer because I moved to a new city in France and needed a new doctor. My new GP insisted on a full health check before seeing me. Thank goodness for stubborn French doctors! That’s when they found my PSA levels were through the roof… and climbing – in the middle of the Covid crisis, no less.
By then, I was dealing with a Gleason score of 8+ and Stage IIIB/C cancer. Cue the full orchestra of treatments: surgery, radiotherapy, and enough medical appointments to warrant my own parking spot at the hospital.
Here’s the thing: A simple PSA test, done regularly, could have caught this early. Instead, I had to go through bone scans to check if the cancer had spread, multiple treatments, and enough stress to turn my remaining hair grey.
Something that stopped me in my tracks during my research: Studies show that by age 80, around 80% of men have some form of prostate cancer cells, whether they know it or not. Let that sink in. Many will never know they have it, and some won’t die from it – but why take that gamble?
Reality Check
Even Hollywood gets it. Remember Clint Eastwood’s characters standing endlessly at toilets? Or Jeff Bridges in ‘The Old Man,’ making those endless nighttime trips to the bathroom? We laugh because we recognize it – in our fathers, our uncles, ourselves. That neighbor who’s always up at night? Probably his prostate. These aren’t just plot devices – they’re reality for millions of men.
The list of those affected reads like a who’s who: King Charles III is currently undergoing treatment. Andy Taylor’s stage 4 diagnosis kept him from Duran Duran’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame moment. We’ve lost remarkable men like Bill Paxton, Dennis Hopper, Frank Zappa, and Colin Powell to this disease. But there’s hope in early detection – Stephen Fry and Ben Stiller both caught it early and are thriving today because they didn’t wait.
But remember: while prostate issues are so common they’re practically a punchline in movies, ‘common’ doesn’t mean ‘harmless,’ and it certainly doesn’t mean ‘ignore it.’ Just because it’s a frequent uninvited guest doesn’t mean we should set it a place at the table.”
So, this Movember, I’m not just growing a mustache – I’m growing awareness. Guys, skip the drama. Get your PSA tested regularly. It’s easier than growing a decent mustache, I promise. Gals, get your guys tested. It’s easier than living with a half-assed mustache.
Because sometimes the scariest monsters aren’t the ones under your bed – they’re the ones that could have been avoided with a simple blood test.
Additional Resources
Ressources en France
- Clinique Pasteur (Toulouse): Une référence en matière de traitement du cancer de la prostate [link]
- Association Française d’Urologie (AFU): [link]
- ANAMACaP: [link]
- Ligue contre le cancer: [link]
P.S. My PSA is now <0.01. Early detection could have made my journey much shorter, but I’m grateful for where I am today and to the medical professionals and support system that saved me. Another place or another time would have had another outcome…
#Movember #MensHealth #ProstateCancer #EarlyDetection #Cancer #Healthcare
Written by : Carl Faia
